I guess i’m done for right now, haven’t been on this for a while but what the hell. It is just a way for me to express myself. Sometimes I hope someone would think about life and its darkness and would be willing to chat with me about it all. There is so much and there is no new faces to discuss it all with. Just live your life and hopefully someday you’ll be willing to allow much more into your mind.

My biggest problem is laziness. One thing that just came into mind is God. I grew up christian went to church, gave my life to god and then became a teenager. Did bad things, dealt with a lot of crazy shit, repented, became a better person and know here I am. I question god a lot I am not going to lie. I question the existence and the purpose. I have felt things that I’ve concluded was God. But idk if it’s my nature or confusion I can’t believe with all my heart or just undoubtedly because there is so much to consume that its all just a blur right now and it makes me sad if anything. No anger no resentment just blue.

I don’t see how people can live so fake, even the most intelligent people I know indulge in the things that corrupt our mindset. It’s all personal choice I guess. We’re aware of these things and we still accept it all and I can’t say I’m different at times but I do aim for something more than whats in front of us.